OCT 10, 2024 | FEATURES | By Anonymous
Disclaimer: I am not a sex addict. I am writing this column for the benefit of others because this idea was meant to be shared with the world (Colorado College).
So, you’re a virgin in college, that’s great! It really is, you took your time and didn’t rush things! I remember putting so much pressure on myself to lose my virginity. And later, I regretted it. So, let’s talk not about sex (ugh for once!).
I’d like to start by saying that I feel obligated to write this because this column isn’t just meant to be about sex, it’s meant to make you feel comfortable regarding everything around sex and sexuality. Kissing someone is sexual, masturbating is sexual, phone sex is sexual, and all of it (and more) is normal!
I think there is a decent amount of stigma surrounding the idea of being a virgin in college. Because it’s thought that “college is the time to go crazy!” Don’t go too crazy though, or else you’ll be slut shamed. Ha. (See Sex and CC: From Sexual to Shameful for more information). But in reality, nobody needs to feel embarrassed about being a virgin, ever! It is completely normal and the time will come if you want it to.
I want to point out that although you may feel like everyone around you is having sex, it’s not true. And in actuality, it’s the opposite. A lot more people are virgins in college than you may think. Example A: a virgin friend of mine said, “So many people here are virgins, a lot more than I expected.” So, if you feel like the only one, trust me when I say you are not.
My same virgin friend said, “I don’t feel alone, just embarrassed.” But why do people feel this way? Because the level of experience isn’t the same as other people? Everyone has to start somewhere.
And maybe you don’t feel embarrassed, just horny, that’s why God gave you hands! Regardless, I understand the exhilarating feeling of when someone else touches you and makes you feel good. A different virgin friend of mine (example B) told me, “I more just wanna hook up because I’m horny.” I get that 1000%.
I think there is also a decent amount of stigma surrounding hookup culture. If you hook up with too many people, you are a slut. But if you hook up with no one, you’re a prude. Example A friend said, “I feel like a loser when my friends from home call and ask about boys, and I have to say no every time.” You are not a loser or a prude, you are perfect.
I want to emphasize that it is normal to be a virgin, to not be hooking up with someone, or even to not have had your first kiss. You do not need to rush or feel pressured to “get it over with.”
Please remember to always practice safe sex between you and your partner!
If you or anyone you know is suffering from sexual violence or harassment please reach out.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Campus Safety Emergency: (719) 389-6911