April 11, 2024 | SPORTS | By Thomas Nielsen
This past Friday, around 200 people took to East Campus and Yampa Field for this semester’s Fun Run. I was one of them. Perhaps foolishly, I decided I would participate while documenting my experiences for The Catalyst.
I did so in what I would call ‘hectic, recorded gonzo journalism.’ Most others would probably call it 10 voice memos at varying levels of sobriety.
This is what I was able to piece together after the fact:
2:55 p.m.: I arrive at Yampa Field, the traditional starting point of Fun Run. Distracted by the large number of people in varying colorful outfits, I forget to record my thoughts. We circle up and are divided into 13 teams. I am placed onto Team Seven.
3:00 p.m.: The gathered runners quickly migrate to ‘Craig’s House’ or 923 Weber St. for Mad Dog chug and leapfrog. The chokepoint of the backyard gate leads to certain teams getting a large head start on others, a fact I am upset about for 30 seconds or so until I start drinking Mad Dog myself.
3:04 p.m.: After completing the challenge, our team starts to leave before realizing we have to grab our team’s wine bag with instructions on where to go next. In the frenzy of teams leaving, my team, Team 7, loses about half of our numbers. This did not bode well for my sobriety.
3:15-ish p.m.: At the first house, we played ninja with pool noodles, the loser having to take a shot. I lost.
3:20-ish p.m.: We ran what felt like a really long way (probably three blocks) to the next house. There, we made a concoction, blending various types of alcohol, mixers and my special touch: crushed-up animal crackers. Our challenge was to dive to catch frisbees onto a slip-and-slide. If we caught three frisbees, our concoction would be passed on to the team behind us. If not, we had to drink it ourselves.
We failed. The crushed-up animal crackers did not go down smoothly, but we pressed on to our next event. A quote from my voice memo: “Every team has missteps, but we are locked in now.”
3:45-ish p.m.: “The crosslights are holding us back,” said a teammate whose name I forgot. Our path had taken us up and down Weber St. multiple times, and Fun Run had turned into a fun powerwalk. After a rough start, our team started doing better at challenges, including a soapy sock wrestling race.
4:00 p.m.: A voice memo gem: “I’m back with more gonzo journalism. It’s funny that they call it gonzo journalism because I’m not quite gonzo, but we’re getting there.”
4:01 p.m.: Immediately after saying that, I see my parents, who are visiting for the weekend, taking a video of me running. I did my best to pretend like I was wearing a normal outfit and was more sober than I actually was. After seeing the video, I didn’t do a great job.
4:32 p.m.: I got disconnected from Team 7 because a teammate and I started cramping (probably from the Genesee), and took a two-minute break to recover. This is complicated by the fact that we both forgot where the next address was. We did remember the street name and wandered until we saw our team emerge from the next challenge.
4:40 p.m.: We participated in a water balloon-related challenge. I don’t remember what the challenge was because as soon as I got there, a balloon was thrown at me by a friend helping run the station. I spent the next five minutes in a furious battle, ending up soaked by the end.
5:00 p.m.: Team 7 arrives back at Yampa. It is very clear that we did not win, but it’s unclear what place we arrived in. I decided not to care.
We had some time before Rastalls opened, so I asked those gathered to summarize their experience. Here are some highlights:
“It’s fun and you run. I feel like it kind of makes up the experience of a fun run.”
“I’m bummed there’s no slip and slide on Yampa.”
“I did it. I survived!”
“<unintelligible yelling>”
“Fucking awesome, banger every time.”
“I am very drunk and I am having a beautiful time.”
“Lots of fun, lots of run.” (could it have been said any better?)
This was not my first Fun Run, and if I have any say in the matter, it won’t be my last. If you missed out this semester, see you in the Fall! I’ll be there. Maybe I’ll even quote you.