February 29, 2024 | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT | By Sophia Lisco
“When you take on the responsibility, great power will come” – a real quote repeated in ‘Madame Web’
X, formerly known as Twitter, has, as of late, been overrun by the box office flop-omenon that is “Madame Web.” Specifically, users have fiercely debated whether Marvel’s new release is fun-bad or just bad-bad. In pointing out its potential to reach campy cult status, some have gone as far as to compare the film to Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room,” which has been called the “Citizen Kane” of bad movies. The other side of the debate, however, likens “Madame Web” to “Cats,” with Rolling Stone calling it a “Chernobyl-level disaster.”
Though everyone seems to agree that it’s simply a bad movie, I couldn’t help but wonder which side is right. Is “Madame Web” as unbearable as a CGI feline James Corden in “Cats”, or will it be the type of movie audiences will throw spoons at in 20 years?
Disappointingly, I found that it is neither. “Madame Web” is just another bad movie and, no matter how much I wanted it to be a new camp classic, it’s unremarkable at best — which isn’t a bad thing. While I am glad that none of my own money went towards the theatrical experience (thanks, Cutler Publications!), I still stayed in my seat and had a not-altogether-unpleasant time.
“Madame Web” on the big screen was almost as entertaining as its viral press tour, during which Dakota Johnson admitted that she’d only seen 4% of all Marvel movies. Her apparent distaste for the genre was obvious throughout the entire film, especially in her action sequences (which, she admitted, felt “psychotic” to shoot). Her awkward, deadpan style just doesn’t mesh with the witty, charming superheroes that Marvel has taught us to expect and adore. Consider this along with the fact that actresses Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O’Connor and Isabel Merced felt “ghosted” by their co-star, and it becomes clear that “Madame Web” was Dakota Johnson’s “one for them.” Her heart wasn’t in it.
The heavy criticism that “Madame Web” has garnered is, however, completely misguided. Superhero fans should instead look inward at themselves. Clearly, Sony thinks that “Madame Web” is something their audience would like, and that’s not really their fault.
“Madame Web” does everything by the book. Looking at how similarly structured blockbuster movies have performed in the past, the line: “he was in the Amazon with my mom researching spiders right before she died,” doesn’t feel so out of place. Dead parents are a Spider-person origin story staple and, compared to some of the other ridiculous super-power sparking accidents, an Amazonian spider bite is hardly a stretch. The tackiest part of the movie, in fact, was the egregious Pepsi-Cola product placement and, considering how the movie has performed, it’s hard to be too mad about that.
“Madame Web” is but a symptom of the larger, downward trajectory of the superhero genre. Every new Marvel-adjacent movie is the same story wearing a different costume. Every hero’s journey follows a formula — “The Amazing Spiderman” and “Iron Man” are not so different from films like “Morbius” and “Madame Web.” We just think they’re bad because we’ve seen them so many times already.
Unfortunately, the latter proves that studios are getting a little too lazy and, frankly, it’s a slap in the face to Marvel fans. Sony thought we might not notice that Tahar Rakim’s lips don’t always line up with what he’s saying or that Dakota Johnson was somehow able to travel to Peru and back in two days. In a gross miscalculation of the average movie-watcher’s general comprehension abilities, Sony not only lost money but also insulted an entire fanbase.
In short: no, I do not recommend going to see “Madame Web.” If anything, avoid paying and wait until it’s free on one of your streaming subscriptions. Don’t worry, Pepsi-Cola will make up the difference.