Somewhere, in a secret bunker far away, there is a man named Tony Romo.  He is sitting in front of his Batman-esque screen of televisions, watching us.  Scheming.

He is planning his next move carefully and sadistically.  What is this move, you ask?  To ruin my week in Fantasy Football, obviously.

He is the Hulk of Fantasy Football, turning from a meek and mild-mannered interception machine into a raging 40-point monster in a minute.  But no matter which Romo appears, he is always the Romo I want the least.

When I need eight points from Romo, he gives me seven.  When I am ahead by thirty points, he piles on thirty more.  He is my Harvey Dent.  I believed in him once;  in fact, I put my hope in him.

Then he flipped out, burned half his face off and rampaged through my season with a quarter and a .357.

He is my Fantasy Football nemesis.  And this week, he got me again.  Well played, Mr. Romo.

Anyways, while I go about figuring out who my Fantasy Football Joker is, let’s talk pick-ups and trades:

We’ll start with two very different eight-point performances from running backs on Sunday – MJD and Andre Ellington.

This is MJD’s best sell high point.  Yes, I believe that this plodding eight-point performance is the best he will do for a while, and you should toss him like a Bat-a-rang.

This is when you go to that slow owner in your league, who’s sitting over there eating paste, and say, “Look at MJD!  He’s getting better!  Man would I hate to trade him right now…” Then ten minutes later, you have DeMarco Murray and wonder why you couldn’t draft as well as the paste-eater.

Andre Ellington, on the other hand turned seven carries into 52 yards and has his coach calling him a three-down back, while Rashard Mendenhall once again was worse than Halle Berry’s portrayal of Catwoman.  This kid is going to be good this year, and this may be your last chance to get him before he explodes.

This is where I toss a smoke grenade, and next thing you know, we’re talking about wide receivers.

There are three young receivers who had big days last week: Rueben Randle, Terrence Williams, and Alshon Jeffrey.  One of them is a mirage, one of them has momentary value, and one of them is the real deal.

If you can pick up any of them, you should, as they all have some value.  That being said, their value is different than you would expect.

Mirage – Rueben Randle – He’s a good player on a high passing offense.  But his two-touchdown days, as well as his one-touchdown days, will be few and far between.  This kid will hover anywhere from two to eight points per week, barring the fluky weeks where he lands in the end zone.

Sometimes Snack – Terrence Williams – This kid is young and unpolished, but his straight-ahead speed is impressive.  He’ll be good while Miles Austin is out, and worth starting.  But once Miles comes back, I think his value will decline.

The Real Deal – Alshon Jeffrey – Chances are someone already picked him up when he went off huge before last week, but if he’s still around, GET HIM!!!  They are looking at this kid in the red zone a lot, and his targets are huge.  Brandon Marshall is drawing away the coverage, and Alshon is feasting on the added opportunities.  This is going to stay good until something changes.

That’s it for this week.  If you need me, I’ll be in my secret cave underneath 1127 Wahsahtch, wondering how I forgot to get Ben Affleck into this piece somehow.  Oh, there we go.

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