SEPTEMBER 5, 2025 | FEATURES | By Megan Burich and Haley Outwater
The girls are back and outdoorsy as ever. To celebrate Haley and Megan’s final return to Colorado, we have decided to out-granola alllllll of the Colorado College baddies with the Patagonia Provisions Lager. We kick off the year with a new location: our porch. This is really big for the program, as many more vibes can be caught from the outside of the home (stay tuned for the backyard edition). After many hours (one) on our porch, here is our review of the basic beer for the “elevated girl.”
However, before we get into our stimulating review of Patagonia’s beer, we want to give readers a brief summary of what this column is. Given that there are new faces on campus, and Haley and Megan don’t know anyone, we will be kind in telling you about Beer for Babes. Beer for Babes was started by Tia Peterson ‘24 (you may know her descendant, Pearl Peterson ‘28) and Izzy Roe ‘25, the baddest babes of all, in the spring of 2023. It started with a desire to try local beers at a rapid pace: three 12-ounce cans in one hour, or two pints in one hour. For some, this might seem like light work; however, as one enters double IPA territory with percentages upwards of 10%, it gets sketchy. The article also consists of an artistic rendering of the can we drink from, since a pillar in Beer for Babes is the aesthetic of a can. Lastly, not to get too deep here, but this column attempts to bring a lightheartedness to the stuck-up, stuffy, and bro-ey culture of craft beer in Colorado. So, with that in mind, enjoy our first Beer for Babes of our senior year!
This beer is brewed with Kernza, a carbon-capturing, perennial grain that protects soil health and waterways. Haley, an environmental studies major, is pleased by this and Megan, who is currently taking her first Southwest Studies class, is scared of greenwashing.
Our first sips were solid. It’s giving more than a plain lager, but nothing crazy. The best part definitely comes with realizing drinking three beers at elevation certainly does something for ya. The 4.7% was not a disappointing stat today. The chug, on the other hand, presented a large struggle for both of us (Megan being on antibiotics probably didn’t help). Imagine you have been at a darty for hours. Your back pocket Banquet is warm, and suddenly you cannot drink it any longer. This is what that felt like. Coming in at a 6/10 chug, we describe this as mid—nothing special. I could be chugging a Bud Light and I wouldn’t know any different. At least this can is pretty.
This can had the typical Patagonia logo mountains splayed across the can, with a catchy and millennial-style quote on the side, “The climate could use a beer.” It captured the essence of the beer: something everyone knows, but somehow feels pretentious about. The can has a simple, on-brand and vintage look to it, which we approve of.
Our experience with this beer was average. Yet, the stories that the beer provided us were unforgettable. From planning our spring break (ideas anyone), to plotting for our house (almost) full of single ladies (hard launch Haley’s breakup), this beer provided a decent taste and amazing time with friends. Although it started pouring rain during the review, we think this beer would pair well with a sunny day, getting drunk early in the afternoon and Frye boots.
Thanks for reading this week. We are glad to be back and are excited about the beers that will come this fall! Email us at h_outwater@coloradocollege.edu or m_burich@coloradocollege.edu if you have any ideas. Love you!