APRIL 24, 2025 | FEATURES | By Anonymous
Disclaimer: I am not a sex addict. I am writing this column for the benefit of others because this idea was meant to be shared with the world (Colorado College).
Welcome to Block 8 readers!
As the school year comes to an end, I thought I would encourage everyone to be the wildest versions of themselves and go all out for the last Block. With that being said, I want to talk about places to have sex!
I’ve had sex in some crazy places: a park bench (do not recommend), someone’s parents’ bed, on a sweatshirt in the woods, but there are even crazier places for sex to take place.
To my graduating seniors, this article is especially for you. Have sex wherever you can these last three weeks. Want to do it on the quad? Go for it! Have you gotten the Big Three down (Loomis, Mathias and South)? No? This is your last chance! Wanna have sex in Tutt or Barnes Science? I will stand guard. Be careful and have fun!
However, I want to make it clear that I am not at fault if you get caught.
So let’s talk about the places I’ve had sex, except the park bench.
In my bed: 9/10. Great! I didn’t love it because my mom was home (awkward). Pretty spacious, so cozy and a safe place.
Someone’s parents’ bed: 8/10. Huge bed, lots of space. Felt bad and wouldn’t do it again. Got walked in on.
Sweatshirt in the woods: 3/10. So uncomfortable. Got sticks in my hair and could only do one position. Thankfully, it wasn’t my sweatshirt. Would never do it again and would never recommend it.
South: 7/10. I think I hit my head on the ceiling, but I can’t remember. Had to stop to give his roommate the pen. Had night and morning sex (slumber party!), so great.
Mathias: 9/10. Great. The fan was on, so it didn’t get too hot and blocked the noise. Pretty cozy and occurred multiple times.
I’ve had sex other places on campus, but it’s best if those remain a secret.
In all seriousness, there is nothing better than having sex with someone you feel comfortable with in a familiar place. It’s even better when it’s not in a twin bed! But under the circumstances, it does the job. It’s much better than having sex on a park bench (seriously, do not recommend)!
Please remember to always practice safe sex between you and your partner wherever you choose to do it!
If you or anyone you know is suffering from sexual violence or harassment, please follow these resources.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Campus Safety Emergency: (719) 389-6911