There’s a guy that I really like, but I barely ever see him around campus or when I go out. Is there something I should be doing to see him more, or should I move on?
Dear Crush,
Hm. This is a tough one. I’d say to seek them out more often, but that would be creepy. Instead, let’s consider a few things. First, think about how much you really like them. Are they worthy of your liking? And, how well do you know them? Do you like them, or just the idea of them? Is this mutual? I want you to think about these questions, because sometimes we can get caught up in a crush. To prevent it from becoming all-consuming, humor me and think about it for a moment.
If you’ve found them worthy of your crush, congratulations! I’m going to try my best to help.
Ok, so you actually like them, and I think this is something worth pursuing. I mean, hey, the heart wants what it wants! And it doesn’t obey mind or reason. The mere fact that you can identify this crush means you’re not closed off from meeting a lover. I think you should explore these feelings. At the end of the day, having someone you care about, look up to or the overall experience of a crush isn’t a bad thing. Just make sure to not make too big of a deal out of it and respect you and your crush’s boundaries.
I understand how disappointing it may be to never see this crush around. As I said earlier, I can’t tell you to seek them out more often. You definitely shouldn’t map out their walking routes or decipher their schedule – this would ruin any chances you have with them. What I can tell you is how to make your chances of seeing them more likely. Do your homework on the third floor of the library. Go to the gym between the hours of 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. Go to Colorado Coffee at 8:45 a.m. Doing these things should increase your chances of seeing them by a decent bit, so good luck. Don’t forget to respect their space as well.
In the event that you see your crush, you should prioritize your time with them. I encourage you to attempt a friendship with this crush; perhaps approaching it at this angle will be more casual and natural. And maybe, by becoming friends with this person, your chances of seeing them will increase. And, after some time, if they are mutually interested in you and you can see things progressing–well and good. If this is not the case, slowly and surely you will find a way to make them a less important character in your life.
I hope some of this is tangible advice. Obviously, navigating a crush isn’t easy, and I’m sure most people can sympathize with you. Try your best to stay patient and allow things to happen naturally. Good luck!
Take Care,
Ruby
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