October 5, 2023 | FEATURES | By Izzy Roe and Tia Peterson
Where to begin? This India pale ale tasted like, well, an IPA. Very middle of the pack. We picked it, per usual, for the can. It’s very ’70s style, very Halloween-ish, and reminds us of 2014 Tumblr when we were 12 and had unlimited internet access.
Something actually exciting about this week’s edition is that we finally planned it as a pregame. A pregame for that week’s Sunbutter comedy show. And we had a great time. We went to the last Twit improv show, and so, with low expectations for Colorado College’s humor quality, we were very impressed.
We really don’t have much to say other than the beer is boring. If you were to describe an IPA, it would be this beer, and we are over it. It’s like if Gerald Phillips – the guy who built the dreadful Armstrong Hall – changed career paths and made beer. Since 2009, this beer has been HOPPY.
But that didn’t stop us from crushing our time limit, finishing with five minutes to spare. We needed something so horribly average after last week’s (Rocky) horror (Picture) show (it’s a Halloween reference, OK)?
Moving on, the chugability was still heinous. We both thought it was going to come right back up. Hops do not mix well with drinking quickly, if you haven’t already discovered that for yourself. Tia didn’t get too drunk (because she’s not in Delta Mu and therefore didn’t go to their darty) but Izzy was inebriated.
We’re trying to be more descriptive with our beer reviews, but Daisy Cutter has left us stumped. Synonyms for boring: dull, spiritless, suburban, garden variety… you get it.
In conclusion, if you have nothing new to add to the world of IPAs, maybe don’t make and sell them. We have enough of them already; do something cooler, like traveling back in time convincing the then-child creator of Speculoos Cookie Butter Beer never to brew beer as an adult (we still aren’t over it). But if we make a beer one day, you guys are all required to buy it even if it isn’t anything new.
Next week we will be trying something never before seen on Beer for Babes, something very fall, very crisp. You probably have no idea what it is.
Stay tuned, and stay tipsy. Happy October.