December 3, 2021 | LIFE | By The Catalyst | Photo courtesy of Charles Schulz
How to tell your roommate you don’t want to live with them next year?
My roommate thinks we’re a lot closer friends than we are, and I don’t really want to live with them next year or, honestly, stay friends. They’re generally nice and thoughtful, but we’ve never quite connected socially in my opinion, and they aren’t the best roommate either (dirty, clingy, etc.). I already have people who I want to live with next year, and they think that they will just live with all of us too. No one is really that close to them or likes them very much. Some of my friends actively dislike them. I feel bad but don’t think I can do another year of living with them. How do I handle this?
Dear Should-I-Cut-Her-Out-Of-The-Lease?,
Deciding who you want to live with, even if only temporarily, is a big commitment, and from my personal experience, I’ve found that how well I get along with my roommates has a direct correlation to having better mental health. I’ve been in living situations where I’ve fought with a roommate constantly and it entirely drained me of being able to think about anything else and be comfortable in my own space. On the other hand, I’ve lived with roommates who I love and am much happier when I’m with them.
I think you should prioritize yourself in this situation and live with the people you want to live with, because you should be able to have a space that you like spending time in and is relaxing, instead of having to always be annoyed or on edge.
That said, it is difficult to tell someone you don’t want to live with them because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. If you really don’t feel like you’re close friends, it might be best to “set them free” — to let them make other friends and give them opportunities that they might have not had if they continued living with you.
It will be hard, but it’s important to be honest to them. Tell them that you enjoyed having them around this year and have good memories of the time spent together, but you feel like sometimes friendships fade and think it might be better for each of you to branch out. Try to make sure they have someone or somewhere they could move to and offer to help them do so if needed.
If there’s a chance you want to remain friends, tell them that sometimes friendships do better when you’re not also roommates and each person has their space. I can personally attest to at least three close friendships that have strengthened after deciding to not live together. Friends and roommates can be in different categories.
Have an honest conversation with them plenty of time before the lease is up so they have time to figure out other options. It might make it a little awkward living together but wasn’t it already awkward for you anyway? Best of luck!
How to seduce your sexy co-worker because you honestly would be perfect together?
I’ve had a crush on my co-worker since basically the first week we started working together. We work very closely in my organization. Over time we have gotten very close, meeting for “work” but mostly just to hang out and talk, constantly texting each other (including memes and TikToks) and have also hung out at off campus parties while we were both drunk (nothing happened). Things have gotten very flirty lately and they keep dropping kind of coded hints that they like me. They are graduating in May but I have another year. Should I make a move? Wait for them to do something? HELP!
Dear Seductress,
I know you wouldn’t be asking me this if it wasn’t important. When I think of you and your co-worker, I think of people that really would be perfect together. If you work well together, have fun, and become friends outside of work? …and they’re hot? I guess it’s a little messy since you work together but have you seen any rom com, ever? Doesn’t that kinda make it way hotter?
I also would like to point out that we won’t be in college forever. If you see a true romantic match with this person you could always try to reconnect after one or both of you graduates. But who knows if they will move away? If you’re looking for a rush, I’d say you should act on it now. Especially if you’ve been getting signs that they potentially feel the same way about you too.
Bestie, tell them how you feel!!
I digress because the point of this letter was how to seduce them, not if you should. I feel I’ve gotten my point across that you definitely should.
I think that since you’re already friends and co-workers, you should find a time during the day when it’s just you two to tell them how you feel, briefly. You could say that you could be wrong but that you feel you maybe both have feelings for each other and wanted to open the door to whatever the natural next step is (date, hookup, whatever you both want).
Also add that, if not, you really value your friendship and want to continue on as normal as if you had never said that. (But prepare to not be able to go back to exactly how things were.)
The point is that doing it sober and during the day makes it clear that you’ve thought about this and taken seriously the repercussions. By going about it this way, you are maturely inquiring about if a person you’ve gotten close to likes you back. It’s way harder but much better than doing it drunk at a party. Personally, I have always kind of taken the latter route and it does pretty much always work but that’s not the point.
And since you’re co-workers, I think it is more professional this way and will make it easier to continue working together on the off chance they reject you.
Sometimes you gotta work for the good stuff but I think this one’s worth it.
How to experience joy again via a hearty Rasties meal (Seniors only)?
I paid my dues freshman year swiping in upperclassmen to Rasties. Why will no one swipe me now? Did I miss something? Or are people just getting worse?
Dear Rightfully-Angry,
I feel this one. I used to swipe upperclassmen into Rasties all the time freshman year, probably because I have a hard time saying no to people. Though I normally try to avoid Rasties at all costs, I’ve heard of close friends being denied swipes this year after pleading with the hordes of underclassmen walking through the doors to Rasty brunch. I thought it gave everyone the shits anyway?
I like to think that sometimes one nice thing can make someone’s day. Oh, to bring joy to a nostalgic, meal-plan-less senior who wants the worst stomachache of their life while reminiscing on the good times.
I guess if you actually budget your meal plan money like a real adult you might be close to running out as the semester ends. Though, if you’re me, sometimes you’re depressed and forget to eat/only need coffee which is cheaper, or you eat off campus a lot — and now, for some reason you have a lot, or even just a medium amount, of meal plan money left this semester. Why not redistribute the wealth?
I like to think that the freshmen class isn’t swiping seniors in because they are budgeting and responsible with money. Or maybe it’s because it’s no longer a tradition in post-COVID times? Really, I’m just reaching at this point to avoid saying what we’re all thinking. Is it just because… they suck?
I hope this reaches the target audience. Do what you will.