November 5, 2021 | OPINION | By Anonymous author

This response has been edited for clarity.

The other day I was called an alternative for the first time. Additionally, I was told that I am annoying because I am too nice. I am too self-validating. As in, I am not a worthy romantic partner because I am too kind.

Wait. Hold on. Can we talk about this please? Why are men expected to be mean? Why is being a self-validating male frowned upon romantically? I am so confused. I just do not understand why a female will desire to be treated poorly. Now, I understand fun banter and other forms of joking around, but to actually want to be treated poorly by a man — why? Why is that okay?

I already knew I was not normal but being called alternative feels like both a compliment and the worst insult a person can receive. I tried to brush it off like it did not pierce my chest but for some reason it is clinging to my mind like the last leaf on an autumn tree. In my mind being alternative is a good thing, an amazing thing. YESS! I stand out. I am different. I am an alternate to the ordinary. 

Yet, for some reason I feel like it is not as much of a compliment as I hope it to be because I am still not the first option chosen. I am still on the back burner, simmering, just waiting to be chosen by a mate. 

Then again, I do not understand why I care so much about being desired. Is it because we live in a world that says if you do not belong you are not right or is it because we are told that we need to have a partner to be happy with ourselves? 

The media’s infiltrations assault my efficacy with pressures that I despise. Almost all of the human population does not fit the projections being thrown at us, tainting our vision, muddling our realities. Why do we keep trying to fit our bodies into a square box? 

I would like to take this opportunity to redefine the term alternative. From here on out, our alternative will be the down to earth souls that are too real. People are afraid of us because we are too authentic, too vulnerable, too raw. 

Alternative means being gracious to those even when you disagree with them. Alternative is when you are so special you are overlooked. A diamond that people think is a lump of coal. To be called alternative is to be called the realest of the real, the coolest of the cool, the dopest of the dope. 

To be called alternative is to be named rare, beautiful, conscious, and one to be savored. People will let you go not understanding what they are missing. If you are an alternative you are a precious mineral floating down society’s stream. 

This opinion is dedicated to the alternative. The men and women that are too nice to be chosen in romantic relationships. You are too real to be seen in this fake world. We are annoying because most people do not have the capability to process something so incredible. 

It is sad that this world is often ungrateful for the things that are most valuable. If you are alternative you are like me and like most of the world that is too afraid to admit their own vulnerability. If you are an alternative you were born to be the difference. If you are alternative you are here to obstruct the norm. 

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