Welcome back to Story Time with Georgia, where I relay little stories from members of the CC community. If you attempt to purchase Greenland, go metal detecting, or do something else of that nature, shoot me an email.
Who: Wayan ’20
When: March 2019
What: Tepio Tipio’s Fake Facebook
We’re all familiar with those random Facebook accounts that send you strange friend requests — they share zero mutual friends and are possibly Russian bots. When Wayan ’20 received what she thought was exactly that type of friend request from someone by the name of “Tepio Tipio,” she instinctively wrote it off as spam, ignored it, and went on with her social media life. Several hours later, however, Tepio Tipio greeted her with a cheerful, “Hey yo!” over Messenger, and Wayan found herself intrigued enough to look at the profile. It only featured a photo of a thumb with a short fingernail next to a red bag, which was weird, but she decided to open the message.
Since Facebook and Apple know literally everything about us, and it’s terrifying, Messenger alerted Wayan to the fact that the number attached to Tepio Tipio’s account did, in fact, belong to someone she knew: her father, who lives in the Philippines.
Why would one’s dad make a fake Facebook account, one might ask? Well, Wayan had a theory. First, though, she asked why on earth he had settled on “Tepio Tipio” for a fake name, to which he only answered “becoz name.” Not the most informative answer, but Wayan pressed on, asking if the account and name were “to hide from the authorities,” which was not actually a joke question. Here’s the thing: “Tepio Tipio” had actually recently taken part in a “kerfuffle with the authorities,” as Wayan put in, and hiding from the authorities was very much the purpose of his fake Facebook. The purpose of the photo, he explained, was for people who know him to recognize a) his thumb and fingernail, and b) his red bag. Sneaky.
Shoutout to Wayan’s dad for sticking it to the man with his new Facebook account. I hope his friends know what his thumb looks like?
Takeaway: Technically speaking, Tepio Tipio is Wayan’s dad’s finsta.