Written by Caroline Williams
After New Student Orientation, first-years all clung to new friends they made either prior to or during their Priddy trips. As attached to their new friends like mothers to their leashed children at amusement parks, they were not letting go. Thus, social groups formed quickly among first-years.
I am entertained when I sit on the quad and stare at my fellow first-years. I eavesdropped on a conversation between a guy and a girl who discussed drama surrounding one of their other friends. I sat reading Plato’s “Allegory of The Cave” for my FYE and laughed at how ridiculous it all seemed. School had been in session for one week, and students had already began to gossip about their new “best buds.” It takes about one week for a cucumber to be pickled, for my hallmate’s inflatable chair to arrive from Amazon, and for my father to discover that I used 90 percent of the data in our shared family plan. One week, however, is not a sufficient amount of time to make true friends. Of course, I believe the friendships I forged in my past couple of weeks at Colorado College possess the potential to be the start of long-lasting ones, and I am incredibly grateful for those bonds. Yet, I feel friendships need more time to saturate.
One of the factors I see playing part in the speedy development of friendships appears to be that first-year students attempt to reincarnate hometown friends into the people they have met so far. I find myself victim to telling other students how they remind me of my friends from home. Every time I do so, I feel like I am taking a big step back in the process of feeling comfortable at CC. No matter how hard a first-year tries, hometown friends are in their respective locations, most likely not in Colorado. In order to begin feeling comfortable, it is necessary for students—including myself—to see the students here independently from those at home. College is different, and “different” can be good. I am beginning to comprehend that reincarnation of an old friend is implausible.
As the attempt of reincarnation dwindles and students begin to see other students separate from anyone they already know, the atmosphere among first-years will become more natural. As I continue to watch interactions between fellow students, I reflect on how long it took me to feel comfortable with friends at home. I recognize the time-span at home was definitely much larger than it has been here. It is as if first-years in college rode a time machine back to kindergarten: naïve and friend-thirsty that we forgot how to be patient. We throw ourselves into making friends as opposed to slowly getting to know each other. I am very weary when I talk to another student or family member about calling someone a “friend.” At what point does a friendly face become a friend? Plato believes it takes about 10 years to call someone a friend. I do not think 10 years is necessary, but more than a few days seems crucial.
Although it seems many people have already found their niche, I think we all maintain the same underlying feeling, to some degree, to simply fit in. In the short time that the cucumber pickles, some students will grin widely and somewhat disingenuously; they won’t understand that just like the pickle, these early friendships will tast better with time. It remains unfortunate that first-years feel the need to exaggerate emotional connections. Whether loving or hating our time at CC, we often feel the need to simply feign our emotions and remain optimistic that they will eventually become a reality.