Written by Ashley Madison
Online dating has made leaps and bounds in the modern era. Our world has moved from the stigma of dating sites like eHarmony and Match.com that cater to older men and women looking for their last chance at love to smart phones making dating sites more accessible to the younger generation. In the past few years, apps like Tinder have altered modern dating forever.
I downloaded Tinder after two of my girlfriends met several guys from the app, went on dates, and claimed to enjoy the new sense of excitement in their relationships—still, I didn’t know what to expect at first. In all honesty, I thought that only creeps and perverts used these kinds of easy dating apps.
From what it seems, it appears as though young males have fabricated this stigma around girls on Tinder: all of them are looking for sex. But, when I downloaded Tinder, I was looking for someone to talk to and share experiences with, whether that meant finding a friend or finding a relationship.
After two months of swiping left and right through Tinder, I only found one guy that appeared to be worth my time. Considering that most users claim that it takes around one hundred swipes to find one keeper, this seemed to fit the trend. After talking on Tinder, the guy and I exchanged phone numbers and Snapchat accounts and began to use other forms of social media to converse and get to know each other.
After Snapchatting and texting for a month, I figured that this Tinder boy was worthwhile to meet in person. He was a firefighter in the Air Force, stationed here in the Springs.
On our first date, after I picked him up from the Air Force base, we walked around the outdoor mall at Chapel Hills and drove to the movie theater. Tinder boy took me to Annabelle, a scary movie sequel to The Conjuring.
To my surprise, the date was very similar to any first date I had experienced. Even though we vaguely knew each other’s personalities thanks to social media, awkwardness somehow worked its way in to the movie theater seats. We were a bit uncomfortable being in each other’s real presence.
When using social media, we portray ourselves as our best version, hiding our flaws and insecurities and, instead, we release the information we want, what we think is worthy sharing about ourselves and leave out all negative aspects. In order to attract people, we represent ourselves as the most superficial versions we can. Because of this phenomenon, Tinder boy was shorter than I expected but just as attractive as he was in his pictures. He was quirky, cute, strong, and had a fantastic sense of humor.
Tinder is at first awkward, but I know many girls who have met their boyfriends on the popular app.
Tinder boy and I saw each other several times following our first date; I would drive to the Air Force base or he would make his way to campus. After getting to know him in person a little better, I had a family gathering and I brought Tinder boy along.
I was surprised that he carried on a conversation with my father for a good 30 minutes.
My grandmother asked me how I met the guy and in response I laughed in embarrassment. Tinder boy and I decided that we should come up with a fake story as to how we met so as to avoid the awkward truth. After discussing a tale of him rescuing me from a burning building, the only rational reasoning we could come up with was meeting at a party—it seemed pretty convincing at the time. However, I eventually showed my grandma the Tinder app and her attitude toward the situation was indifferent.
Recently, I came across an offshoot Tinder app called JSwipe. JSwipe is similar to Tinder but is specific to Jews in your vicinity. When the first four guys I saw on JSwipe were guys from CC, I thought my chances would be limited in finding an interesting guy that I wouldn’t have normally met at school or in my normal social activities.
I really downloaded the app for fun and to see what I was missing out on, but I ended up finding a really nice and funny guy who I get along with and enjoy spending time with.
Like living in a perfect world, the app lets you know you like the guy and you know that he likes you, even if the attraction is only based merely on appearance.
Friendsy is another app similar to Tinder but specific to a certain college campus. I use Friendsy more as a joke than Tinder. It seems more awkward to match with somebody when you know you’ll most likely see them in the coming weeks on a small campus of 2,000 students.
If the picture is with another girl, either the guy is a player or he’s dating the girl in the photo. If the first picture is multiple guys, and one of them is attractive, after looking through the other pictures, the boy on Tinder usually ends up being the unattractive guy in the first photo. Girls look for guys who have exciting personalities and a person who they may have legitimately met in real life.
Tinder serves as a sure-fire method to rid yourself of annoying situations involving guys who try to pick you up at a party or a bar. The popularity of the app makes a single person a little bit less embarrassed about the whole situation, easing the stigma that surrounds most dating websites.