Tales from Beyond the Couch
Hello everyone, and welcome to “Whose Fantasy Football Team is it Anyways?” – the column where the facts are made up and the points don’t matter.
This week I’m going to start a tradition where I print a personal story about someone’s Fantasy Football league. “Why?” you ask? Because it’s my column, and I don’t take orders from you! That’s what the little man in my head is for.
Anyways, each week I will publish either a story from one of my leagues or a submission from someone else’s. Details will follow below.
I want to tell you a story from a league that started here at CC known as Drafty Rasty. We call it that because every year we get together right after school starts and do our draft in Rastall.
This story really begins when at the start of the season last year when one of the players in our league, Reuben Mitrani, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly while he was abroad.
Now Reuben had already drafted his team, so there was nothing to do with it but let it play throughout the year. Unfortunately, a Fantasy team without a player generally falls into disaster fairly quickly. Fantasy players get injured or just aren’t as good as they were expected to be.
Although he lost Demarco Murray to injuries and started Joe Flacco all year, somehow Reuben’s team kept managing to score enough points to make it interesting.
By the end of the year, he had four victories, which made him tied for last in the league with my roommate, Mike Mayer. Mike worked on his team all year long, making trades and substitutions, but still could not outpace Reuben’s team.
This set up a playoff showdown between their two teams for the definitive title of worst in the league.
The matchup was a close one.
To his credit, Mike didn’t let up at all, but in the end it didn’t matter. As the dust settled over their two-week match-up, Reuben was the winner by five points, and Mike was crowned “Worst in the League”.
I will never forget the feeling that came over me when I saw that even though Reuben was dead, he was still a better Fantasy Football player than Mike.
I hope that somewhere, Reuben saw that too.
Stories like that are just a part of what I think makes Fantasy Football so incredible. And now without further ado, here are my pick-ups for the week.
We’ll do this in sets of running backs and receivers.
Running Backs – players that I am looking to trade for: Stevan Ridley and Trent Richardson. They haven’t done much yet, you can get them for less than they’re worth, and they are worth a lot.
Players I’m looking to pick up: are James Starks and Andre Ellington. Starks has the job (at least for a week) and didn’t look too bad with it. Ellington is more of a guy to stash rather than play right away. He has the most upside in a sloppy Cardinals backfield and could become interesting.
Wide Receivers – players to trade for: Pierre Garcon and Dwayne Bowe. This Redskins offense hasn’t clicked yet, but when it does click it clicks to Garcon. And Dwayne Bowe is just better than his numbers so far.
Players to pick up this week are Marlon Brown, Eddie Royal, and any Patriots receiver you can get your hands on. Royal is the best play right away, although his numbers will go down soon so if you can grab him and trade him, that’s the best bet. Marlon Brown is the beneficiary of a Ravens’ passing attack that’s run out of options, but he still gets a lot of looks. And whether it’s Kenbrell Thompkins or Aaron Dobson, one of these Pats receivers will go pop. When he does, you should be the kid holding the balloon… Or the kid who writes better metaphors than that.