Sex is a marvelous thing. It gets you in all the right places and makes you feel mm-mm good. If done correctly, it makes you tingle the morning afterward. Whether we decide to take the plunge or wait, we as a campus crave our sexual freedom. Look at all the condoms that are passed around to encourage safe sex and the talks that are given about how to make sure we are getting the best out of our bodies and our partners. Colorado College has made it well known that we love sex, maybe to a fault. I mean, look at Newsweek’s and the Daily Beast’s College Rankings of 2011 for horniest schools and largest hook-up cultures and you will see we get placed in magnificent 16thplace . There is no doubt that sex is on the mind on our campus, even if it’s just a small sliver eating at the back of our minds.
However, I could make the argument that, despite our desire for the carnal, we have a tendency as a campus to flinch at any sort of sexual situation that questions our sexuality—unless we are outrageously intoxicated to the point that you could easily, if you wanted to, blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.
What fun is that?
People have comfort zones. I get that. Some people would rather not be in a situation where they have to put their personal beliefs and morals on the line. And, to me, that makes sense. I would never pressure anyone to do anything he or she was uncomfortable with because that’s just not fair. It takes two to tango, so even the slightest hint of indecision may mean that you should pump the brakes before it gets too hot.
What I don’t get is why some people are so afraid to talk about sex or sexual situations outside the heterosexual norm or the closeted ideas we have about our own sexualities. There is no way that I can speak for everyone on campus, but I find that there is a bit of a discrepancy between what we do while drunk and what we say and do while sober.
Did you kiss a girl and like it? Or was it a boy? Or does it really even matter? I hear more than enough stories about how a girl kisses another girl while drunk but they would neverconsider doing so while they were sober. I have even heard of a couple men who have kissed other men, although I find that they tend to be a bit more hush-hush about the whole affair.
People are so afraid of being labeled as gay or straight that perhaps the only time they really ever explore the options is when they are off their heads. But the thing is, what if you really did like it? There is nothing wrong with experimenting. In fact, I encourage everyone to try taking a couple steps outside their comfort zone (on their own terms) just to see that they aren’t missing out on something that’s a real turn-on. If you find something so attractive and stimulating, why wouldn’t you want to do it again? You never really know what you might be into until you try it. Not everything suits everybody, but that’s the beauty of experimentation: it’s a trial-and-error process to find what gets you hot and bothered. Why stop at the basics? You should have whatever you like.
But I see people talking about how they would never try something because it seems too “weird” or because it would make them seem “gay.” Women have gotten a bit better about their own sexualities—many of us have acknowledged that, “yes, we can masturbate, and damn it feels good.” Vibrators can be a godsend when trying to figure out what gets you closest to that little death. There are a variety of toys out there for men and women that give you a better idea of what works for you. But, while women are a bit more accepting of the idea of vibrators and masturbation (note: that is definitely not everybody, folks), there are still many people out there who still can barely talk about the idea without cringing. Men are not quite as versatile in masturbation techniques as are women.
I’m not saying that men don’t masturbate—that would be a lie. What men don’t do is take advantage of toys and investigate other sensitive parts of their body aside from their cock because it’s too weird and a bit “gay.” When I tell my straight male friends that the prostate is actually a sexual stimulant for men, almost equivalent to the G-spot or clitoris in women, they brush me off, claiming that they wouldn’t want to even try that because putting something up “there” would be too gross and weird. The funny thing is, most people believe the G-spot creates a strong sexual arousal despite the fact that no one can prove whether or not it exists (but that shouldn’t stop us, ladies). Yet men refuse to consider sexual stimulation to the prostate, which, incidentally is a necessary component of male ejaculation. It might not be your cup of tea, but it’s worth considering.
Sex toys and masturbation aside, men and women are afraid to step out of their heterosexual comfort zones because they don’t want to risk being seen as “the other.” Being drunk allows you that level of protection because you can just say, “Oh, I was just drunk, it doesn’t count.” Why doesn’t it count? Alcohol simply lowers inhibitions, not desires. So, if you are making out with that girl or guy over there, it’s probably because, deep down inside, you like it. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting that either. It’s all about figuring out what you want and not being afraid to try it out, preferably while sober so you can remember it properly.
So hit up a sex shop to see what you might like or try out a fun sex game to test out the waters. Be friendly and open about how you think and perform sexually. Don’t be afraid of stepping outside of your comfort zone—even if it’s a bit at odds with the heterosexual norm. It may be worth your while.