Just like nearly every person I have spoken to over the past month, I, too, have become infatuated by the new hit show “Heated Rivalry.” If you haven’t seen it, “Heated Rivalry” follows the relationship between two professional hockey players, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, as they go from rivals to hookups to a committed romantic relationship over the course of nine years or six episodes. The show does not shy away from the sex that is inherent to a nine-year situationship, a feature that has defined the conversations surrounding it. However, sex is a feature, not a bug, and people’s reactions are indicative of a larger discussion that needs to be had when it comes to the acceptance of queer romances.
While gay people are more accepted in the current culture now than they have been historically, there is still a shockingly prevalent idea that by being homosexual in nature, gay sex is somehow more promiscuous, debauched and salacious than its heterosexual counterpart.
Going into the show, I had only heard that it was good and that the sex was crazy. What I was met with was a scene in episode two that made me cry from how sweetly these two characters cared for each other within the intimacy of sex. Throughout the show, the sex scenes exist to drive the plot forward, each scene intentionally adding context to the changes in Shane and Ilya’s relationship. Ultimately, sex, while definitely enjoyable for the audience, exists to provide a glance into their relationship in a way that cannot be captured in other ways.
The first sex scene is defined by Shane’s hesitancy. He has never been with a man, and he is exploring a desire he doesn’t want to allow himself to have. Later, in episode four, Ilya calls Shane by his first name while having sex, a move that feels too intimate and causes Shane to panic. The scene indicates the beginnings of an evolution from a physical relationship to an emotional one. Shane still hasn’t been able to admit that he is gay, hoping that he will be able to find a girl, settle down and repress his feelings for Ilya. He insists on calling each other by their last names as a reminder that this is a casual thing, despite its years-long span.
It isn’t until after Shane’s girlfriend gently initiates a conversation about his sexuality that he feels ready to pursue Ilya again, this time prepared to let their emotions get involved. Ilya, still reeling from the death of his father and leaving his country behind, is not entirely in the headspace to connect in the way Shane wants. It isn’t until a tear-jerking scene of another professional hockey player, Scott Hunter, coming out as gay after winning this world’s version of the Stanley Cup, that Ilya realizes he can have what he wants. Neither of them truly knows what will happen with their relationship, but they allow themselves deep conversation, connection and a break from being hockey rivals. They are finally being honest with their feelings and come up with a plan to stay together in the final episode.
This show is both a celebration of queer sex for queer people and a window into the intimacy that all people crave. Gay people in recent years have been pushed into a binary in which embracing sex is to be destined for fetishization and sexualization from a world that continues to see queerness as inherently deviant, while to reject sex is to reject the long history queer people have with sex as a form of intimacy and individual expression.
“Heated Rivalry,” in a way that may feel contradictory, has given space for gay sex to be celebrated for what it is: sexy, sweet, intimate, an important part of relationships and a beautiful thing. To see gay sex be celebrated in the way it is in “Heated Rivalry,” especially given the scope of the show’s success, is to feel that queer joy and stories centering queer joy are important. Sex sells, gay sex sells and gay sex helps us find joy. Who can fault people for liking that?
The series also serves as a way for anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, to explore the things they want out of romantic and sexual relationships. By acknowledging that sex is both hot and romantic, it calls the audience to grapple with how they want their sex to be.
Additionally, there have been waves of interpretation of the presence of sex in the series. There’s both a desire to distance the show from the sex, to downplay the importance of it to have the narrative taken seriously and a want to flaunt the sex in the faces of everyone.
I don’t think these ideas are contradictory. They display something already known to be true: people are still afraid to talk about sex. To some, avoiding discussions of sex can be easier given its personal complexity. To others, who have long been denied honest discussion, they overemphasize the importance and presence of sex.
This show is a beacon of hope for many, especially for athletes who may be in the closet, any queer person wondering if love could be for them and those wanting to see queer stories celebrated. It is because of the sex, not in spite of it, that “Heated Rivalry” has become such a success; one that I hope to see continued in other media and in the next season. Until then, you can find me at the cottage.